This article was written in 2017 and posted on my blog journey & destination in answer to a question from a reader. I'm posting it here with some updates now that my sons are adults.
This is utterly practical and clear-sighted in addressing the reality of homeschooling teenage boys. As a second-generation homeschooler, I have witnessed firsthand the boredom that can occur when teens are giving developmentally appropriate signs that they want to test their wings. It is normal that the readaloud circle doesn't thrill them at sixteen the way it did at six! It makes me sad when parents interpret this as disrespect. We have seen that work opportunities, athletic pursuits, physical challenges, and everyday adventures such as driving to a track meet or planning a fishing expedition go far in blessing and taming these desires. Our oldest starts his senior year of homeschool in the fall, and our youngest boy will start kindergarten, so I am not an expert and very much in the trenches. Your wisdom resonated with me. Thank you for this very encouraging read!
This is so encouraging. I really liked how you would have the boys call their dad and talk to him when there were problems during the day.
I have always said “oh we will wait and see what happens with high school. Maybe we will send our kids to public school” to my friends who disapprove of homeschooling and are worried about my kids’ future.
In reality, however, my husband and I went to public school in high school and know that there is NO WAY we would want to send our kids there when they are teens.
I have let the fear of man dictate what I say, when instead I need to stand my ground with our convictions.
Thank you for your wisdom. It gives me courage that I will be able to homeschool my kids in high school, and they will flourish.
Thank you for sharing your experience. We've been following the CM method from the very start--now have two teen boys and have been questioning whether to stay the course or adjust; your insights have helped me to see that we're still on the right track!
Hi Carol, I’m a CM follower, homeschooling my 3 young boys (5-10 years of age) in Australia.
Thank you for reposting this article. I’m encouraged and refuelled with hope after reading it.
I find myself butting heads with my oldest sometimes and wondered how it’s affecting our relationship and his self esteem.
I also appreciate your advice on ensuring that they’re not idle. Your example of getting outside to burn off their energy is typical here but I also see how that doesn’t inspire them and build them up the same way as a purposeful and/or selfless work.
If I can work out how to save this article, I plan to revisit it often! God bless you!
Hi Elaine, good to hear from you & thanks for your kind comments. I'm still working my way around using Substack so I can't tell you how to save a post - yet!
I think we can get so worried about damaging our children or ruining our relationship with them that we see all conflict as negative, which isn't true.
This is utterly practical and clear-sighted in addressing the reality of homeschooling teenage boys. As a second-generation homeschooler, I have witnessed firsthand the boredom that can occur when teens are giving developmentally appropriate signs that they want to test their wings. It is normal that the readaloud circle doesn't thrill them at sixteen the way it did at six! It makes me sad when parents interpret this as disrespect. We have seen that work opportunities, athletic pursuits, physical challenges, and everyday adventures such as driving to a track meet or planning a fishing expedition go far in blessing and taming these desires. Our oldest starts his senior year of homeschool in the fall, and our youngest boy will start kindergarten, so I am not an expert and very much in the trenches. Your wisdom resonated with me. Thank you for this very encouraging read!
Thanks for your lovely comment, Abigail.
Thank you Carol. This was really encouraging. I have two high school boys (and four younger children) and it was so nice to read this!
Thank you, Carol!
You're welcome, Rizelle. :)
This is so encouraging. I really liked how you would have the boys call their dad and talk to him when there were problems during the day.
I have always said “oh we will wait and see what happens with high school. Maybe we will send our kids to public school” to my friends who disapprove of homeschooling and are worried about my kids’ future.
In reality, however, my husband and I went to public school in high school and know that there is NO WAY we would want to send our kids there when they are teens.
I have let the fear of man dictate what I say, when instead I need to stand my ground with our convictions.
Thank you for your wisdom. It gives me courage that I will be able to homeschool my kids in high school, and they will flourish.
Thank you for sharing your experience. We've been following the CM method from the very start--now have two teen boys and have been questioning whether to stay the course or adjust; your insights have helped me to see that we're still on the right track!
Hi Carol, I’m a CM follower, homeschooling my 3 young boys (5-10 years of age) in Australia.
Thank you for reposting this article. I’m encouraged and refuelled with hope after reading it.
I find myself butting heads with my oldest sometimes and wondered how it’s affecting our relationship and his self esteem.
I also appreciate your advice on ensuring that they’re not idle. Your example of getting outside to burn off their energy is typical here but I also see how that doesn’t inspire them and build them up the same way as a purposeful and/or selfless work.
If I can work out how to save this article, I plan to revisit it often! God bless you!
Hi Elaine, good to hear from you & thanks for your kind comments. I'm still working my way around using Substack so I can't tell you how to save a post - yet!
I think we can get so worried about damaging our children or ruining our relationship with them that we see all conflict as negative, which isn't true.
Another perspective from you that I’ve never considered before. And you’re right! Not all conflict are negative! Thank you for this shift in my view.